The Power of "Not Yet"

We're constantly saying "no."

No, I don't want to do the dishes.

No, I don't want to take a shower.

No, I don't want to have this hard conversation.

Saying "No" can often come with feelings of shame and guilt, as well as unhelpful beliefs about ourselves.

No, I don't want to do the dishes. I'm so lazy.

No, I don't want to take a shower. I'm so gross.

No, I don't want to have this hard conversation. I'm such a pushover.

By changing "no" to "not yet," we give ourselves room to grow and consider that a future version of yourself might be ready to take that step.

I don't want to do the dishes... yet. I might want to do them later. I'll ask myself again in an hour.

I don't want to take a shower.... yet. I could take one later tonight, or tomorrow when I have more energy.

I don't want to have this hard conversation... yet. I might feel more confident later. Maybe I'll get support from a friend first.

This mindset shift is easier said than done. Consider all of the times you've said "no" only for it to turn into a "yes" later. By saying "not yet," we trust ourselves to eventually say "yes" when we're ready and to treat ourselves with kindness in the meantime.

This is also an opportunity to allow yourself to explore your intentions and desires. Maybe something truly is a no, and we can allow ourselves space to make this decision as well with confidence. "Not yet" is a helpful tool for when we feel like shame holds us back from achieving our goals and we have a judgment towards someone, something, or ourselves. "Not yet" is not for situations that we truly do not want to engage with.