Climb Your Fear Ladder

If your response to anxiety is to avoid its cause, you might often feel paralyzed by your fear. Just like how someone scared of heights will refuse to climb a ladder, you might avoid driving, public speaking, meeting new people, or going swimming. 

Fear ladders gently ease you into facing your fears through baby steps. You might be scared of heights, but climbing one rung on the ladder just a few inches off the ground might not be so scary. As you become comfortable on that first step, the second one may become less scary. And so on and so forth until you’ve reached the top of your fear ladder. 

Just like the person scared of heights, we aren’t teleporting up into the air. We’re going slowly and safely from least scary to most scary through desensitizing ourselves with gradual exposure to our anxiety as we increase our window of tolerance.

Here’s how to create your fear ladder:

1. Identify your specific fear. For example, social anxiety and making a friend.

2. Brainstorm situations related to this fear and order them from least to most distressing.

   1. For example, thinking about meeting a stranger could be a “1,” actually running into a stranger could be a “4,” making eye contact with the stranger could be a “5,” greeting the stranger could be a “6,” speaking to the stranger could be an “8,” and exchanging contact information with the stranger could be a “10.” 

   2. Make each situation a little more distressing than the last one, but not so much that the gap feels too large. For example, don’t go from “making eye contact with a stranger” to “exchanging contact information.” What are the baby steps in between those steps?

3. Be creative with your fear ladder! Make a poster, a checklist, write out the scenarios on an actual ladder, or whatever else feels right for you.

4. Consider how to realistically tackle that first step. Seek help from your support system! For example, you could ask a friend to talk about possible scenarios where you’d run into a stranger.

5. When you’re ready, practice taking that first step. Reward yourself for your progress and practice that first step! Maybe it’ll take a day, week, month, or more of consistently thinking about meeting a stranger before you feel ready to head onto the street. That’s okay! We’re staying on that step until that anxiety decreases.

6. As you feel comfortable, keep climbing each step. 

7. Don’t be afraid to revisit your ladder if something isn’t working for you. Maybe we need an extra step, or maybe we need to practice a lower rung for a bit before we feel ready to move to the next one. 

8. Reach the top!

You can use fear ladders for shorter term tasks like writing an email or longer term goals like public speaking. Check in with yourself on your comfort levels, anxieties, and readiness to move to the next step!