Behaviors, Emotions, and Thoughts: The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Triangle

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a modality that explores how thoughts, behaviors, and emotions all affect one another. 

For example, if you play a game with friends (behavior) → you can feel happy (emotion) → you can think, “I love spending time with my friends” (thought). This is a continuous process and can go in any direction, sometimes even back and forth between two points on the triangle.

What we want to be able to recognize is when we get “stuck” in the triangle. For example, you may:

• wake up feeling tired (emotion) 

• → stay in bed (behavior) 

• → feel sluggish (emotion) 

• → stay in bed (behavior) 

• → have the thought, “I’m so lazy, why can’t I just get out of bed?” (thought) 

• → feel shame (emotion) 

• → stay in bed (behavior)

• Etc….

In cases like this, we want to break the loop on the triangle! We may not be able to control our thoughts or our emotions at times, but we can control our behavior. We want to find the most manageable step and behavior that will create a ripple effect throughout the triangle.

For example, it might be difficult to break the loop above by “just getting out of bed.” Maybe getting out of bed is too difficult, but sitting up feels doable. Maybe sitting up feels too difficult, but stretching your arms and legs while lying down feels doable. Maybe stretching your arms and legs feels too difficult, but moving your feet around feels doable. Maybe moving your feet feels too difficult, but wiggling your toes feels doable. Maybe wiggling your toes feels too difficult, but scanning the room with your eyes feels doable…. And so on until we reach a behavior that feels achievable for you. Then, we add to the loop above:

• wake up feeling tired (emotion) 

• → stay in bed (behavior) 

• → feel sluggish (emotion) 

• → stay in bed (behavior) 

• → have the thought, “I’m so lazy, why can’t I just get out of bed?” (thought) 

• → feel shame (emotion) 

• → recognize shame (thought)

• → feel desire to change (emotion)

• → think of a manageable step (thought)

• → wiggle toes in bed (behavior)

• → feel able to move a little more than before (emotion)

• → think of the next manageable step (thought)

• → sit up in bed (behavior)

• → feel proud of self (emotion)

• → have the thought, “If I sat up, I might as well get out of bed” (thought)

• → get out of bed (behavior)

• Etc…

What we want to find is where we can “dip our toes in the water.” What’s the baby step that leads you to your desired emotion, thought, or behavior? How can you reverse engineer your triangle in a realistic and sustainable way?