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Writer's pictureReyna Choi, MSW

Is my anger helping or hindering me? Let's talk.

Updated: Aug 20

The 2024 Disney-Pixar film Inside Out 2's premiere reminds us of the value of every emotion. Welcome to "Is my anger helping or hindering me?"


emotions



Hey there, guess what? Emotions are your personal tiny messengers; they don't come with a "good" or "bad" label; they just let you know what's happening with your needs, wants, and how you're responding to events. Consider your rage; it's like your inner warning system alerting you to "Hey, this situation is not cool, something's off here!" Anger then is your means of expressing, "Uh-uh, we need to change things up!" And depending on whether you're building a new Lego set or unintentionally shattering a plate in the process, that can produce some fascinating results. So let those feelings run wild; who knows, maybe your next flash of wrath may inspire some great innovation or a funny accident?



Helpful anger is seen as "information" to create positive change.

Anger as part of your emotional information highway:

kids having emotions

  • Accept the ire! Like Hulk, except with a purpose. You're brainstorming answers instead of breaking things


  • apart. Given ideas, who needs a hammer?

  • Emphasize the "what," like a detective on a mission, not the "who," as a gossip journalist might advise. Solving the riddle is everything; finger-pointing is not important.

  • Be classy yet angry. Like dressing in a tuxedo to a food fight, you can be furious but yet look good doing it.

  • Calm yourself, yet keep the fire ablaze. Your calm attitude does not indicate that you are not willing to challenge norms. Like a ninja in pajamas, it's lethal but comfortable.



Hindering anger usually makes things worse than better, or as we like to say... "Anger gone Rogue".

Angry superhero

When anger goes rogue:


  • Because who doesn't love a good smashdown? It's like a storm of yelling, name-calling, and maybe even some WWE maneuvers.

  • Talk about blowing things out of proportion; picture a small conflict triggering a volcanic explosion of wrath.

  • Though it's just your mirror reflection, you're all about making the other person pay for their sins instead of concentrating on the annoying conduct that irritated you. A meal best presented alongside a side of wrath is vengeance!

  • Not exactly the formula for a happy ending, as it's like attempting to put out a fire with a flamethrower. You wind up with a solo dance party and a heap of regrets.



If destructive fury seems familiar to you, here are some techniques you might apply to transform that negative energy into a positive one:
  • Think back on circumstances in which you have most frequently experienced harmful anger. Their topic was what? Why these events? What would reacting with constructive fury look like?

  • Take some time to cool up before continuing—five minutes in a separate room, a walk outside, or just a few deep breaths with your eyes closed.

  • Add "coverage" to your program. Try deep breathing, meditation, or activities at a time free of anger. This will enable you to rehearse momentarily when you wish to use these techniques but are experiencing harmful anger.

  • Work on your aggressive speaking. Learn and get comfortable openly and quietly expressing your demands and emotions. See here how to handle disagreement and rebuild following negativity politely.



We have seen that anger is a universal feeling, like the storyline in the film Inside Out 2 (Disney-Pixar. 2024). Differentiating "helping anger" from "hindering anger" helps us use our inner Hulk in the right way for great outcomes, radiating good energies in our daily lives and beyond.


Mann, K. (Director). (2024). Inside Out 2 [Film]. Disney-Pixar.



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