Making Friends in Your 20s: Overcoming Loneliness

If you’re in your 20s, you might find yourself suddenly further away from your childhood friends. Whether you’ve just graduated from college, moved to a new town, or are simply experiencing a life transition, your 20s can feel lonely without a built-in community of peers to surround yourself with. 

Without this system of support, you might feel isolated, anxious about making new friends, or depressed without friends to chat with.

Here are some ways to find places to make friends:

1. Find people with the same hobbies

   1. Join a club, weekly class, community event, or something else that consistently meets!

   2. Examples: gaming, cooking class, book club, run club, volunteering, open mic nights

2. Use social media

   1. Find a local Facebook group, apps specifically dedicated to making friends, your local Discord server, or others!

3. Spend time in public spaces

   1. Make it a habit to spend some time at the park, local coffee shop, or other places that you find comfortable. 

Great! Once you’re there, now what? Let’s say you see someone you’d like to strike up a conversation with. You don’t necessarily have to go through each step, but do what makes you comfortable! Compliment a few people until you feel more confident in following up.

• Initiate

  • Compliment: Find something you can compliment the stranger on and say it to them!

    • Example: “Hey! I just wanted to tell you I love your bracelet”

  • Ask a question: Find something relevant to ask them about something you share in common

    • Example: “Hey, this is my first time here! Do you like the area?”

• Introduce yourself (if you forgot to!)

  • Example: “My name is Maria, by the way!”

  • Example: “Hey! My name is Ryan. I just wanted to say I like your bag a lot!”

• Follow up with an invitation 

  • As the conversation progresses, extend an invitation to stay connected. Don’t be afraid to be specific if you seem to be getting along!

  • Example: “I’ve actually been trying to make some friends in the area and you seem really cool. Do you mind if we exchange Instagrams?”

  • Example: “It’s been so nice chatting and I’d love to stay in touch! Maybe we can meet next Saturday for brunch! Can I give you my phone number?”

Making friends takes time, courage, and vulnerability. Ask questions and be curious about the people you meet and continue to initiate conversations! Not every stranger will become your best friend, but one just might!