The Dark Side of Positivity: How Toxic Positivity Can Worsen Mental Health

We’ve all heard it: “Good vibes only.” “Just think positive!” “Look on the bright side.”

At first glance, these sayings might seem harmless—even encouraging. But when you’re struggling, those well-meaning words can feel like pressure to hide what you’re really going through.

That pressure is what we call toxic positivity—and it can actually make things worse.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is when someone pushes a “just be happy” mindset no matter what. It’s the idea that you should stay upbeat even in the face of stress, sadness, anger, or fear. It’s not about choosing hope during hard times—that can be powerful. This is about feeling like you’re not allowed to be anything but positive.

You might hear things like:

• “It could be worse.”

• “At least you have your health.”

• “Just stay positive.”

These phrases might come from a good place, but they often leave people feeling dismissed, isolated, or ashamed of their real emotions.

How it shows up—especially online

We see this a lot on social media. Perfectly curated feeds full of inspirational quotes and smiling faces can give the impression that everyone else is handling life beautifully—and if you're not, something must be wrong with you. But here’s the truth: No one is happy all the time. And pretending to be can be exhausting.

A 2023 study on toxic positivity in modern culture found that people exposed to constant “good vibes only” messages were less likely to talk openly about mental health struggles. They also reported feeling more judged when they did.

Why ignoring negative emotions doesn’t work

Here’s the thing—stuffing down uncomfortable feelings doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it tends to make them louder later.

Avoiding emotions like sadness or anger can lead to:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Sleep problems

• Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues

  
  

Research shows that people who regularly suppress their emotions experience higher stress levels and even increased risk of chronic illness.

When you’re constantly told to “stay positive,” it can also send the message that your real struggles don’t matter—or worse, that they’re your fault.

The guilt trap

Toxic positivity doesn’t just affect how we relate to others—it messes with how we treat ourselves. You might feel guilty for not being happy enough. Or ashamed that you're still struggling when others seem to be doing fine.

For some, especially those in marginalized communities, this pressure is even heavier. Studies on “The Strong Black Woman Schema” and Latino cultural values of endurance show that people are often expected to be strong no matter what—and that asking for help can feel taboo.

What you can do instead

Real support doesn’t mean forcing positivity. It means making space for all emotions—messy, painful, beautiful, human.

Here are some ways to do that:

1. Let yourself feel everything You’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to be angry, hurt, overwhelmed. Feeling those things doesn’t make you weak—it makes you real.

2. Notice when you’re shutting yourself down Pay attention to thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way.” When those show up, ask: What am I needing right now?

3. Use mindful language Instead of “It could be worse,” try “That sounds really hard. I’m here for you.” Small shifts matter.

4. Watch what you’re absorbing online If a feed full of “positivity” makes you feel worse, it’s okay to mute or unfollow. Fill your space with honesty, not pressure.

5. Get curious about your emotions If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try writing about it. Or talking to someone who can really hold space—like a therapist, not a cheerleader.

Bottom line? You don’t have to be positive all the time

You don’t need to smile through pain or find the silver lining right away. Some moments just suck. And that’s okay.

The goal isn’t to avoid negative emotions—it’s to learn how to move through them without shame. That’s where real healing happens.You’re not broken for feeling sad, anxious, or lost. You’re human. And that’s more than enough.